Whew. I’m back. At some point lately, I started panicking a bit about what I’m doing with my body and my life—about whether I’ve actually learned any of what I think I have learned, and whether much of it is true. Outwardly and in my routine, nothing major changed lately. I’m now 15 pounds from my goal weight (woo hoo!), and I’ve been able to help several people lately who are seeking diagnoses or seeking assistance after diagnosis. But inwardly—I had some events in my off-blog life reminding me, quite painfully, of who I used to be a long time ago and what my life was like at that time. The reminders drudged up experiences that were entirely inside the scope of what many of us experience over the course of our lives, nothing exceptional, and they should serve as a marker of the great distance in a positive direction that my life has traveled. But for a while there, instead, I felt dragged back into who I was at that time: a very insecure, lonely, overwhelmed girl.
Partly due to the emotional overload I was experiencing, I had a great deal of writer’s block. Why am I talking when I don’t know what I’m doing? the insecure part of me wondered. I recognized cerebrally that we’re all works in progress and that events in my life had drudged up the past, not the present. I worked hard at giving myself—my younger self, as it were—a dose of compassion that I had, unfortunately, somehow always withheld from myself before. I also tried to utilize other healthy habits I’ve learned, including making myself mostly keep up my normal actions even when I feel abnormal. The normal pops back up eventually if I do that.
We’re all complex creatures, aren’t we?
In any case, I’m back now, and I’m feeling comfortable in my skin again. (I’m also no longer cramming for the GMAT, so I have more free time as well!) Here’s my meal plan for the last couple of days and for this upcoming week. As always, it’s fairly healthy, with a focus on local, seasonal foods and a moderate number of calories. It’s also gluten-free, egg-free, soy-free, and cow dairy/casein-free.
Dinner: Beth J., Marg, and Brett over for dinner: Roast Leg of Lamb with Cherry & Spearmint Compote; Wilted Greens; Lori’s Skillet Smashed Potatoes; Bob’s Red Mill chocolate peppermint cupcakes for dessert
Dinner: Pizza & Movie Night: chicken sausage, spinach, soft sheep cheese, and tomato sauce; salad of cucumbers, green onions, and dill with champagne vinaigrette on the side
To Do: Make work breakfasts and freeze them: cran-orange muffins, grits with garlic and greens, other?
Lunch: Chopped salad of endive, green onion, avocado, radishes, bacon, and grape tomatoes with a mustard vinaigrette
To Do: Grocery shop
Dinner: Dinner at Margaret’s
Dinner: (Purchase a Dutch oven) Alsatian Chicken and vegetables with garlicky green beans
Dinner: Eat dinner out @ 5:30 with Chris, Natalie, and Debbie
To Do: Dan leaves for Europe
Dinner: Fend off loneliness with an informal dinner with friends: Melissa’s bison chili (made with venison instead), Sophie-Safe cornbread, and Bob’s Red Mill chocolate cupcakes with spicy cinnamon/chocolate icing
Dinner: Take-out Thai
Dinner: Dinner at Priya & Sriram’s house: take dessert–what kind? Something that will accompany Indian food and be fairly mild in sweetness due to their non-American tastebuds. Suggestions, anyone?
To Do: Work from 10 a.m.-noon
Lunch: Salad with goat cheese, pickled beets, and pecans
Dinner: Soup at home, or go out to eat with a friend
Lunch: Tuna melt on vegan millet bread and tomato soup
Dinner: Simplicity circle–Make gf, vegan, soy-free bread.
As I always do, I’ll be submitting this meal plan to the gluten-free menu swap that is hosted this week by Natalie at Gluten-Free Mommy.